Author Archives: IBK

Hello Again

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m resuming my blog called: “Word and Image” after a two year hiatus. Some of you are reading this for the first time  … Welcome!

 

My last blog on May 03, 2019 with the title: “Things Are Not Always Clear” was the end of a season and the earliest transition of a nine month journey that culminated in my husband’s joy of healing from a medical event in July of 2019 and the anticipation of having our small family gathering for the Christmas holiday in Denver and welcoming a new member to the clan … our youngest son’s fiancee.

In January of 2020 I was diagnosed with breast cancer, had a mastectomy in February and a week later my husband Dave, who now had advanced prostate cancer, stayed with his sister in Kansas. Covid 19 realities had entered our reality as well as everyone else’s.

We were reunited by the end of March and were able to spend some precious weeks together realizing that a new journey was beginning where we would be separating. After a 4 week home hospice journey, he died peacefully, surrounded by family.

That’s the story in a nutshell and I’ve been writing this blog in my head and heart and mind in myriad ways. Finally on June 12, the one year anniversary of Dave’s death, I was at peace that things were clearer, and that I am now in a new season of the “Grace of New Beginnings,” a phrase that I first read in a book called: “Celtic Benediction; Morning and Evening Prayers” by Phillip Newell.

I am grateful for this season. I’m currently cancer free; have grieved well with the support of so many; and am finding in this grief journey a freedom and joy in God’s provision and timing. From Psalm 31 verse 15, a beautiful reminder … David the Psalmist talking to God: “my time is in your hands.”

One of the best life changing gifts post mastectomy, is that I became a morning person, with no effort of my own. I just started waking up around 5-6 a.m. every morning. That led to a slow resumption of walking every day and became my physical and mental health anchor in stormy times.

We each have phrases and habits that we remember and often turn to in times of transition. One that I remember, was from my high school English teacher who posted a new phrase every Monday:  “The journey a thousand miles begins with one step.”

I’ve stepped back on the path to explore and live the unfinished story with new habits and am happy to be back to “offer insight and encouragement in life’s transitions.”

Today’s image, the poppy, is a flower that I’ve photographed often. The gossamer petals, and tall stems sway in the breeze in clusters with other poppies and are difficult to capture. On a morning walk recently, I realized that the story I was trying to tell was about one poppy, surrounded by community, but distinctive in its beauty and dancing in the moment offering joy to those who choose to see and engage.

Ingrid (IBK)

Posted in Aging, Blessings, Death, Gratitude, New Beginning, Seasons, Solitude Tagged , , , , |

Things Are Not Always Clear At The Time

A year ago a friend and I arrived at Dublin Airport in Ireland and looked to meet up with our driver Ted, our navigator for the next 10 days, as we visited previously selected sites courtesy of the Irish Tour Company that we worked with. Since we were both independent travelers and had different interests and respect of same, we could come and go sometimes together and sometimes solo because Ted was at our “beck and call”. It also lessened the impact on our trip when three days in I became ill.

Intermittently I felt fine and not well but still was able to enjoy the rest of the trip until Galway our last stop before heading to Dublin for the weekend and then home. After spending a night at the Galway University Hospital and having tests for possible heart issues, and then cleared with a treadmill test, my friend said: “I’ll be fine… if you want to change your flight and go home, go.” Music to my ears. After a lovely train ride from Galway to Dublin Airport, I arrived home three days early with what I call: ‘found time’. Since I was off of my own schedule, I slept and prepared for a new chapter since my husband was soon to have some follow-up treatment for a return of prostate cancer.

In reviewing the months following my return from Ireland in May of 2018, I noticed that my writing and photography became less frequent; other things that I normally had great energy for were also coming to an end; things were less clear and I started for the first time in a long time paying attention to noticing more, not just of what I needed but what I had and learning to allow the days to happen and not planning so much in advance. I visited my youngest son in Brooklyn in his first apartment without roommates; celebrated birthdays; I met people in my neighborhood; on the streets of New York; connected with younger entrepreneurial moms; hugged their children; listened more; gotten to know my family members in a new way; watched my grand nephew be grand as he turned into a young man; relied on a friend who is an artist and my coach to hold a safe space for me to lay it all on the table and cheer me on when I let things go, and picked up new things to focus on. I listened to simple sermons presented by a Spirit led chaplain who distilled the long known stories of the kingdom into simple homilies given to tired adults (and me) and their young children who dance and play their rhythm instruments during the final hymn … modeling joy for all of us.

As an immigrant at age 6 I grew up in a time in a small town in south central Nebraska where life had it’s own mixture of joy and pain, but also just the right people at school and my neighbors who were our cultural navigators; the retired couple at the library who prepared us to navigate beyond if that was our calling. I have grieved quietly and loudly at the discord in our country; especially at those who demean and use the other to elevate themselves.

After the deepest grief and sadness, I learned to listen again about what if might be mine to do to love God and neighbor … Jesus’s only commands in his sermon on the mountain to his followers so many years ago and today. His words don’t change, we just disregard them over and over again in each new generation with our own priorities and prejudices.

So after an audit and a further paring down of what is mine to do and a long rest … it comes back to what I’ve loved doing and sharing before. Noticing, creating with my hands whether with words, yarn or ingredients; offering insight, listening,learning, encouragement, in life’s transitions … to the next generation of makers, creators, parents, and women entrepreneurs and artists; continuing to get over myself and appreciating the good and the beautiful and living in the unforced rhythms of grace trusting the Trustable for direction in each new season.

Oh, today’s image, is in downtown Denver at the light rail station on a rainy day… beautiful but not clearly seen. 🙂

PS Another new chapter in the prostate cancer journey begins again. We welcome your thoughts and prayers.

Posted in Aging, Blessings, Courage, Cropping, Insight, Inspiration, Letting Go, Others, Pruning, Uncategorized, Waiting Tagged , , , , , , , , |

Making Room

©IBKimage2017

Happy New Year 2019

My purpose with this blog and in general is to offer insight and encouragement in life’s transitions. To do that this time I’m remembering a time that I was a professional organizer When I started I helped people organize their offices, houses, garages … by helping them to set up systems to be more productive and to make room by managing their “stuff” in an effective way. I’d shop for products that would help clients contain their items and have less clutter, or more organized clutter. When people heard that I was a P.O. they’d often get a bit nervous or make comments that indicated they had often felt judged for being disorganized. My standard answer was that effective organization was not about being a “neat freak” but having a simple system that allowed a way to find and track things so that it would be easier to find what was needed when we needed it and so on.

It didn’t take long to realize that there was really a much more fundamental reason to address some issues around organizing. Yes having good tools and systems worked to often “busy our way through things” as a friend recently stated … but effective organization affects our relationships and gives us opportunities to make room to discern what is perhaps hiding in our heart that we’d love to explore and act on.

So with that background I’d like to share some thoughts to help us discern what it is that we might want to start making room for in our lives this year? (For those who are dealing with deep grief because of loss of loved ones or other losses your transition in this season will offer challenges that go far beyond what I’m sharing today.)

If we can’t say no, we can’t say yes to something that we might be wanting to address in this season. New beginnings or endings when thought about or acted on allow new perspective and opportunity. Adapt to the season you’re in … don’t try to be more than you need to be,(or less) just be who you are. Making room implies more space … what are you going to choose to allow to enter into that space … take your time. How would you like to spend this year,day,moment,to honor your commitment to what brings you joy and contentment? What would you like to discover, plan,create and solve personally or professionally? Who would you like to spend more time with this year? What is the next action I can take to improve my relationship with others … and perhaps we can all reflect on the grace of new beginnings and ask how we can contribute to reduce the turmoil in our land and agree to disagree with respect

Our duck in today’s image has the ability to be who it is by design and function and doesn’t need a lot of ‘stuff’ … my oh my what a peaceful reflection. (and moments later duck was back with the others) May you experience joy and peace in your reflections.
IBK

Posted in New Beginning, Pruning, Reframe, Seasons, Seeing In New Ways, Uncategorized

Thank You!

©2018IBKinsight

Hello dear readers.
For several weeks I have been trying to process great abundance in my personal life and grief at the state of affairs as we struggle to name something that doesn’t seem right in our nation,no matter where we are on the idealogical spectrum. So, once again, I remember why I’m doing this blog. To offer insight and encouragement in life’s transitions. But … today I’d like to turn the tables and thank those of you who read this blog for offering insight and encouragement to me in my life which has like the tide come in and out on a regular basis with profound gifts. Carol King in her song Tapestry starts out: “My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hues …

Like the lovely birds feasting on the gift’s of the ocean at Pebble Beach,California at dawn recently, all of you in myriad ways have profoundly blessed me and are beautiful sections of my life’s tapestry, whether you made your entrance years ago or last week in ways that you don’t know.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.
IBK

Posted in Uncategorized

Revisiting Part 2

IBK Maine 10-19-2011

IBK Taking A Closer Look

Last month when I shared about revisiting as a part of transition, I sensed from my own experience that there was a summary, a wrapping up of a time of specific actions leading to a new now “revisited” place … a launching place for a new season. Instead it seems it was more of a rest area by the roadside on a continuing journey. Revisiting gives one lots of information and can lead to new actions, but … those new actions then lead to new commitments and finding a way to incorporate the new into the old routines takes some work.

Case in point; In my months of revisiting I had chosen to upgrade my computer versions to better support my blogging and photography. My old ™I Pad was no longer upgradable which also meant less secure. It was however still usable for storing photos, watching movies and general writing, note taking and so on … however before I could “wipe the data” and give it away to my non-cable watching relatives, I had to check and move a lot of data between old and new devices and versions. Little did I know that I would be in a bootcamp computer workshop/training with my own “look up how to do this curriculum” for over two weeks.

There were several other focused choices and everyday pieces of business and daily routines, which then turned into today October, 19th, six weeks after revisiting and committing to start putting out a blog every two weeks. 🙂

So the point is, like in this picture of your blogger and photographer, take a closer look, say yes to what is yours to choose, and give yourself time to travel on your journeys, while continuing to lighten the load. IBK

Posted in Cropping, Insight, Letting Go, Reframe, Road Trip, Seeing In New Ways, Waiting Tagged , , , , , , |

Revisiting

Tomorrow is September 1st and the beginning of a season of new work. I’ve taken six weeks to revisit most aspects of my personal and creative life and how that might look in the coming year.  More specifically I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions and taking the necessary time to discover (or discard) the answers that will support (or not) my work as I continue to offer insight and encouragement in life’s transitions.  I’d of course love to enthusiastically “firehose you with all that I’ve learned, but that gives you no opportunity to reflect about your own times of transition.  So today I will simply offer a word to get you started …  Revisiting.

My friend Erica stepandconnect.com  provided the word as she was working with my husband to take a look at some of the balance exercises she has provided for helping him navigate his world as not only an older but also a now blind person.

Reviewing is another word  but seems more specific  than reflective in that it often implies reviewing your work,or a plan before you build something or reviewing finances.  Revising is also a good word in relationship to transition but seems to also be specific to something you’ve discovered you want to change.

In revisiting you have a big picture opportunity to take a look at all you are doing or engaged in and ask yourself if this is a “fit” for your now and where you might be going.  Many of the things we’ve done were good in their season, but might not be necessary now.  To offer an example.  On a big piece of paper I wrote down all that I am, have, am doing, pursuing, struggling with,forced to deal with, enjoy interacting with, and so on.  I also tried to answer what brings me joy and energy and if what I was engaged in, was supporting that.

I don’t have answers to everything, but I do have some clarity of what needed to be edited, removed, increased, cherished and … acted on.

Today’s images  illustrate revisiting.  Why did I take this photo?  I loved the colors, the texture, the contrast of the green tree to the rock. It was taken several years ago when I was a relatively new photographer. My artist friend, Jane Mason (artinthecenter.wordpress.com) in a creative coaching session, challenged me to revisit the photo to identify how much of it was needed (cropping) and what was the story I was offering the viewer?

Image 1, the original; Image 2, the first edit; Image 3, the rest of the story.  I was telling the story of courage and new life possible in rocky times.

IBK

 

Posted in Authenticity, Courage, Cropping, Seeing In New Ways Tagged |

Move On

©2018IBKimage

In 2003 Roger von Oech created a set of cards called: “Innovative Whack Pack … 60 Creativity Strategies to Provoke and Inspire Your Thinking.” On one side of the card is an insight from Heraclitus, who according to von Oesch was “the world’s first creativity teacher … on the other side a strategy “inspired by each insight” and enriched by the author in a clever way to “whack you” out of old thought patterns.

On card # 43, this Insight: “A thing rests by changing” and then an explanation: “This paradox assumes that everything is always changing and that”it often takes less energy to move on to the next phase than fighting to stay in the current one.” Going with the flow in the river is suggested vs. swimming against the current. And then this: “If you allow yourself to let go of a cherished position, strategy, or belief – especially one that takes increasingly more effort to hold on to – you are more easily able to discover new alternatives.”

So today’s question: “where would your energy be better focussed: on where you’ve been or on where you’re going? Is it time …to move on to the next phase? Only you can answer that. Hint: think of  several applications e.g.  If I continue to keep track of ways that didn’t work will that allow me to take a next step? … and so on.

Today’s image from a stairway between floors at the Denver Art Museum is perhaps an illustration of this issue. If at the bottom I move up the stairs I’m moving to the next phase(exhibition) to discover a new offering. If I’m at the top looking back I can remind myself where I’ve been but not stay there since it could “increasingly take more effort” …
IBK

Posted in Courage, Insight, Letting Go, New Beginning, Reframe, Uncategorized Tagged , , , , |

Distortion and Delight


©2018 IBKimage

It’s so easy to allow the distortions of reality to become the reality that we often proceed from … whether in major transitions or the familiar repeated patterns of our daily habits. External and internal conditions can draw us to false conclusions.

Years ago someone told me a story about a fear of driving over a mountain pass to get to her place of employment in a neighboring town. This was not an unfamiliar route, but the weather conditions were more challenging and she was very fearful. “What if I slide off the road and no one finds me; what if I wreck my car and can’t” … and so on. She then stopped these thoughts and asked herself: ” If this is my last night on earth, do I want to live it being fearful?” With that reframe she proceeded on her way, able to drive on in wonderment of what the moonlight revealed with every new turn down the mountain.

That story changed me. I was afraid of heights and a few other things … when we leave the present for the past we often dance regret; too much time in future anticipations attracts doubts and fears. Author Jan Phillips says this: “We are vulnerable to fear only when we leave the present … It’s in the present moments that I belong. Only there do I feel my balance, find my oneness with all creatures, with all life, with the meadows and mountains.”

Jan’s book is about contemplative photography and as I slowly work through it, I understand again that when I bring the camera to my eye … the peace I feel in that moment in time is the privilege of presence.

Todays image is a deliberate distortion taken from the outdoor track of the Hyatt Hotel in Downtown Denver. Taking a photo at high noon on a sunny day is usually not very realistic, but by shooting into the reflections that the tall buildings provided … conditions changed … it was a dance in the moment delight.
IBK

Posted in Reframe, Seeing In New Ways Tagged , |

Waiting For The Tide To Come In


©IBKimage2018

Sometimes in our transitions, the boat just doesn’t float. It’s tied up and waiting to go out again but until the water provides the lift the vessel waits. I took this image on a recent trip to Ireland as I was waiting for a small excursion boat to take us back from a lovely island estate … now a beautiful botanic garden open to the public.

The reason I use this image instead of one from the garden, is that in seeing that old boat, I realized I was waiting for my own tide to come in. Specifically I was exhausted and praying for direction and the only way to solve that was to wait it out. Sometimes in our transitions whether major or just the muddling through parts, we often try so hard to do more, when waiting and doing basic things like sleeping more, eating less, singing, dancing,listening and accepting offers of help from family and friends is liberating. Retreating wherever that may be and how that works for you is vital for flourishing I think … even a few moments in the midst of a busy day.

So after a few months of being in dry dock and choosing to recommit to fewer things, I’m noticing that without working at it, and lots of small acts of intention, reflection and prayer, the tide has returned and I want to continue to offer insight and encouragement in life’s transitions through word and image. Stay tuned. Remember too that you can always unsubscribe by replying to this mailing if you’d like to move on.
Best,IBK

Posted in Reframe, Uncategorized, Waiting Tagged , , , , |

Change vs. Transition

©IBKimage2011

I’ve been thinking a lot about the book TRANSITIONS  first written by William Bridges in his mid-forties and then a second edition when he turned 70. He doesn’t think he made the point clear enough in the first edition re: change/distinction.
“Change is your move to a new city or your shift to a new job. It is the birth of a baby,the death of your father, … switch to a new health plan … In other words change is situational.”
“Transition, on the other hand, is psychological … not the events … but … the inner
reorientation and self-definition that you have to go through in order to incorporate any of those changes into your life. Without a transition, a change is just a rearrangement of the furniture ”

Wow, there is a lot to think about here. As Americans we have a lot of rituals around events like Super Bowl Sunday, and buying something that will “change your life” but of course can’t because they/it doesn’t provide an entry into the journey of endings and new beginnings or death and rebirth. Getting all set for the change doesn’t prepare you for the transition.

Today’s image is in Zion National Park and reminds us of how the upheavals,the challenge from the wind and the light’s illumination are all a part of the transition process and can delight.
IBK

Posted in Uncategorized Tagged , , , |