©IBKimage 2011

Nebraska author Willa Cather once said: “Some things you learn in calm, some things in storm…”  The last two weeks I’ve had the privilege and pain to learn in both conditions. In the calm of this week, the storm of vertigo and pulsatile tinnitus have suddenly, after a three month fury,  thankfully blown out to sea. Turns out that it might have been too high a dose of my thyroid medicine which under different conditions was just right. A dear friend’s visit brought delightful hours of conversation and laughter and comfort when recounting incidents of a broken heart.  Finishing a project after weeks of interviews, listening, editing and learning, preparation for sharing, provided a time of calmness tonight, after a  storm of self-doubt, anxiety of wondering  why I had any credentials to do this, and so on.

Like the lighthouse on Nantucket Island surrounded by a morning fog, we often can’t see clearly what it is that is directly in front of us and instead work so hard to see or engage in activity to clear the fog, often resulting in a stormy tempest in our soul or less dramatic, fatigue.   And then … the fog rolls out to sea without our effort.  We can stop filling in the blanks and things are clearer.

Next week I’ll be traveling to Germany with my family to spread my late mother’s ashes on the North Sea near where she lived before being emigrating to America ; it is also the place where I was born.  In the intervening years since my last visit to our hometown, on the occasion of her 80th birthday, much has been revealed in calm and storm.

I wish you shelter and companions in your calms and storms.

IBK